What Is A Projection?

You’re at the cashier ready to checkout. You’ve waited in line for 15 minutes. Someone comes up, butts in front of you and begins asking the cashier a lot of questions with no regard for you.

BANG – Your mind starts talking “How rude!” “I’d never do that.” “I’m so glad I’m not that kind of person!”

YOU’VE BEEN TRIGGERED!

This person has shown you the quality of rude and you don’t see it in yourself.

Or you’re at a party and you meet someone who is charismatic, smart, charming and at ease in the room.

BANG – Your mind starts talking “I wish I could be charismatic; charming; smart; at ease.”

In both cases you are projecting.

So, what does that mean?

It is said that when you’re in a room full of people, the one person you can’t see is yourself. We need other people to show us, mirror for us, parts of ourselves that we haven’t (or can’t) owned or embraced. Since we can’t see that quality in us, we label the other person and judge them. We then tell ourselves – I’m not that.

But, here’s the thing, in order to lead happy, balanced lives, it’s time for us to own every quality we see in others. Imagine being less triggered, less worked up, and even more able to embrace the amazing qualities we see in others. Imagine being able to get cutoff in traffic and think “Wow, he’s sure in a hurry. I hope nothing serious has happened?” In my work the concept of wholeness states that there is no quality that exists in another person that doesn’t exist in me. THERE ARE NO MISSING PARTS OR QUALITIES.

Make the qualities your friend.

Every quality has a gift. The rude person makes sure they get their needs met – they stand up for themselves. The charming person makes friends easily. The smart person is resourceful.

Where we get tripped up is that we may display the quality differently. Rude might be displayed by being short with our kids or interrupting someone. Your charisma and charm may show in the way you host people at your home, or how you interact in a business setting. Your intelligence might show up as problem solving. Your ease might be in smaller settings. Maybe you have the ability to put someone at ease and really listen to them.

So, when you are triggered or admire someone ask:

WHAT IS THE QUALITY THAT PERSON IS SHOWING ME?

WHERE AM I LIKE THAT?

Want more information on how you can feel more balanced and less triggered by those around you? 

I'm Linda Yeazel, Certified Integrative Life Coach.

My passion is helping people find more peace and joy by learning stop the cycle of up and down emotions caused by our own thoughts and beliefs. 

Projection is just one of the tools we'll help you master when you coach with me. Imagine what it might feel like to feel comfortable in your own body, mind and soul.

Every one I coach is committed to make big changes. If that's you, click here.